I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
