Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
