I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
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All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
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I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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