the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
