I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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