the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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