JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
