I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There r osticjed everywhere
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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