She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
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When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
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I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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