Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You've changed since you got that strap on
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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