so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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