I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
