PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
