3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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