90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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