i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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