ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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