He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
