i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
