you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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