Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
