***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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