I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
