Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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