Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
