We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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