So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
