Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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