All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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