In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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