google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
