No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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