dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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