Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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