Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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