hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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