I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
the liver wants what the liver wants
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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