trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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