I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
