Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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