RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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