i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
