I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize