That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
