worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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