If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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