going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
