before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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