they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
