Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
