So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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