but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
