she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize