Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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