I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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