i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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