she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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