Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
