just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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