I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
