NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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